Communication Skills for Couples

Are you longing to reignite the spark in your relationship, to rediscover the passion you once shared? You're not alone. Many couples wonder if their love can ever be as vibrant as it once was. I firmly believe that love never truly fades; rather, it often gets overshadowed by the stressors of life. But fear not, for with intentional communication, you can recapture that magic. Let me introduce you to "Intentional Dialoguing," a method inspired by Imago communication steps.

**Step 1: Commit to Improvement**

Pause before engaging in heated arguments. Commit to making your relationship better. If you're too angry to listen, take a breather. Remember, effective communication requires at least one of you to be open to understanding. If you're ready, proceed to Step 2.

**Step 2: Listen**

Silence can be profound. Stop talking and let your partner express themselves. Being truly heard is transformative. Just listen. It's that simple.

**Step 3: Clear Your Mind**

Empty your mind of preconceptions. Listen without judgment or assumptions. Pretend you're hearing your partner's words for the first time.

**Step 4: Reflect and Repeat**

Let your partner speak without interruption. Then, paraphrase what you've heard. Ensure accuracy before moving forward.

**Step 5: Confirm Understanding**

Check if you've grasped their message correctly. Clarify any misunderstandings. It's okay to ask for repetition.

**Step 6: Encourage Further Expression**

If your partner has more to say, give them the space to do so. Sometimes, being heard is liberating. Be patient and attentive.

**Step 7: Summarize**

Synthesize their thoughts into a cohesive summary. Ensure you've captured the essence of their message.

**Step 8: Validate Their Perspective**

Acknowledge the validity of their feelings and thoughts. Share what resonates with you. Validation fosters understanding.

**Step 9: Empathize**

Imagine yourself in their shoes. Understand their emotions and concerns. Empathy strengthens connection.

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If you want to try this exercise  with a supportive couple's counselor, give me a call! 


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Cindy Bink, LMHC

New York, NY Therapist

Cindy Bink, LMHC provides confidential psychotherapy and couples counseling for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer community specializing in areas that include, but are not limited to: Anxiety Symptoms, Depression Treatment, Anxiety Treatment, Depression Help, Anxiety Help, and Lesbian Problems.

Proudly Serving: New York City, NY and Northern New Jersey.